Heart Palpitations At The KFC

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
relmint
sandersstudies

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

sandersstudies

Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)

Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.

sandersstudies

Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!

Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks

sandersstudies

Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!

Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row

coldgoldlazarus

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flynnlives
cozylittleartblog

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@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

white-throated-packrat

With Activity now blocking my dashboard when I open it, I have to say that this was a poorly thought-out update. It’s like they don’t do any end user testing or something...

child-of-crows

don't forget that you can't have messages open anymore because they cover up searchbar, like, and reblog buttons!

flynnlives
athingofvikings:
“chokopoppo:
“chaointe:
“princecharmingtobe:
“cephalopodvictorious:
“queerscout:
“direwolf-distributor:
“filipfatalattractionrblog:
“liluglydudefromdetroit:
“So play like a noob? got it
”
You’re joking, but it actually is a popular...
liluglydudefromdetroit

So play like a noob? got it

filipfatalattractionrblog

You’re joking, but it actually is a popular theory in chess that a complete noob potentially can beat a master by confusing them - as the noob doesn’t know what they’re doing the master is unable to recognize which of valid strategies they’re pursuing and cannot deploy proper counterstrategy.

direwolf-distributor

Chessmasters when their opponent doesn’t make one of the five approved optimal opening moves:

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queerscout

#used to do shit like this when we fenced#for real tho a newbie is way more of an issue than a master because WHAT are you doing???

I’m currently a fencing coach for a high school club and my least disciplined fencer routinely beats kids who have been fencing for 5-6 years because he’s just so unpredictable and messy that his opponents have no idea what to do.

cephalopodvictorious

I know what a master is doing, I just may not be faster than them. I know I’m faster than a newbie but hey what the fuck is happening?

princecharmingtobe

I have, on rare occasions, won pokemon battles like this. I have no idea what the meta is, and just slap things together that sound cool. It’s fun when you win by taking someone completely off guard because “Who would run that?!” Idk man, the noob that just kicked your ass. I’m not smart enough for all these mind games that go into serious competitive pokemon, but I do know big laser go pew.

chaointe

The Newbie Flail™ is the most terrifying attack imaginable.

chokopoppo

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Originally posted by oldtimeyfights

athingofvikings

“The best swordsman on the planet doesn’t fear the second-best swordsman. He fears the new swordsman, because he has no idea what the lunatic will do.”